Calgary First Mennonite Church

Everything I ever let go of has claw marks on it

Pastor Marv Thiessen

Calgary First Mennonite Church

March 28, 2010

"EVERYTHING I EVER LET GO OF HAS CLAW MARKS ON IT"

Title quoted from David Foster Wallace

Isn’t today’s sermon title and the accompanying bulletin cover great? I only wish that the title had actually been my idea and that I could take credit for it. Alas, the title was suggested by the writers of our Lent series. But I could have written it. It is reflective of some of the experiences of my life in recent years. Dreams and expectations that I had have taken a beating and I don’t find it easy to let go of those dreams and expectations. I find myself holding on to physical stuff and to hopes that reflect those dreams and expectations and the image of claw marks running down that stuff as it slips away makes a lot of sense to me.

Throughout this Lent series, we have been reflecting on things that we hold on to and things that we let go. That theme hasn’t always been front and center in the sermons in this series but the idea has been present in some way in each of the services. This morning, we end our Lent series so this will be our last crack at the theme of holding on and letting go. The writers of our series provided some thoughts in the sermon ideas for this Palm Sunday morning that intrigued me. They wrote this, "The holy week movement from triumph to humiliation is the pattern of each human story, and we neglect it at our peril." Do you think that’s true? Do all of our lives have a pattern of moving from triumph to humiliation? Perhaps we’ll be able to respond to that idea as we reflect on the last week of Jesus’ life on earth, looking at Jesus and several other characters in the story from the perspective of observing what they tried hard to hold on to and what they let go and as we ask ourselves where we need to let go of things that we desperately try to hold on to.

The holy week story begins with the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. We have already heard that story this morning as well as music and dramatic activity that drew our attention to the positive and triumphant nature of the event. While we believe that Jesus made his entry in a style that denoted servanthood and that he knew that he was moving toward his death, the events of the entry must still have been gratifying and encouraging to him. We can well imagine the intoxicating feel of having a large crowd of people around him, heralding his coming to Jerusalem. The crowd put him on the donkey that had been procured for him, then spread cloaks and branches on the ground in his path, thus declaring their respect and admiration for Jesus. It must have been a heady event for Jesus.

I noted something else in my thinking about this theme during the week. In the story of Jesus’ life as Luke tells it, there were several events in the days as Jesus approached Jerusalem that would have been gratifying and encouraging to Jesus. As he approached Jericho on his path toward Jerusalem at the end of Luke 18, Jesus met a blind man who begged for his sight to be restored. Through the word of Jesus, the blind man’s sight was restored and he proceeded to follow Jesus and heap praises on God. Then, in Jericho, Jesus met Zacchaeus, the wealthy chief tax collector in Jericho, and his interaction with Zacchaeus resulted in Zacchaeus turning his life around to pay attention to justice and to commit his ways to God.

As a result, I suggest that Jesus had plenty of reason to feel like he was on top of the world as he entered Jerusalem. His ministry had recently brought healing and transformation to the people to whom he had ministered. Crowds of people were now flocking to adore him. Sure, there was the negativity of the religious Pharisees in the crowd who seemed to ask Jesus to get the people to calm down, but Jesus was so caught up in the moment that he told the Pharisees that nobody could stop this celebration. If the people would become quiet, then the inanimate rocks would take up the cause. It’s not hard to imagine that Jesus felt like he was on top right at that moment.

I’m inclined to think that Jesus would have wanted to hold on to that feeling and that moment. Isn’t that what we’re like as humans? When we play on a sports team that wins a championship or emerge victorious in a political election or land a job that we expect will be a great opportunity or hear an enthusiastic assent to a proposal to marriage, don’t we want to hold on to that moment and just continue living in that moment? And wouldn’t Jesus also have enjoyed the adulation of people and the sense that he was on top and wanted to remain in that moment? I think so. I think our desire for self-affirmation is strong enough that we desire those moments and don’t want to let go of them.

What happened to Jesus, then, after the excitement and triumph of his entry into Jerusalem passed? The week that followed certainly had a downward trend and found its end in the crucifixion and burial of Jesus. But there were also other matters that catch our attention when we ask this question of the final week of Jesus’ life. I noted, for instance, that there are no more positive accounts of miracles or transformation of people’s lives in the days leading up to the death of Jesus. There are moments in the discussions that Jesus has with the religious leaders when his answers and viewpoints are admired but there is no record that more people chose to follow him in that period of time. I thought that was striking. Just after Jesus has experienced tremendous adulation, the record stops indicating that people chose to follow his teaching.

As the week neared its end, Thursday arrived and with it the Jewish celebration of the Passover meal. Jesus shared that meal with his disciples. While Luke doesn’t include this detail, all the other gospel writers tell us that during that meal, Jesus informed his disciples that he was aware that one of them was going to betray him. Luke does tell us that earlier on that day, the disciple Judas, had agreed to betray Jesus to the religious leaders who were looking for an opportunity to capture Jesus and, as Luke says, to get rid of him. Can you imagine the kind of letting go Jesus had to do on that occasion? He had chosen Judas as one of his inner circle of twelve followers. He had given Judas the responsibility of being treasurer for their group. He had expected much from Judas and now Judas had decided that he would rather be a traitor and betray Jesus to the Jewish religious leaders that wanted to get rid of Jesus. Jesus had to let go of his expectations for Judas and accept that Judas would not be the person that Jesus had expected him to be.

As Thursday evening progressed, Jesus went off to pray about what he was expecting would happen to him. He took some of his disciples with him and instructed them to pray that they would not fall into temptation while he want off on his own to pray. When he had finished praying, he returned to the disciples and found them sleeping. I suspect that he felt disappointed with them as he asked them why they were sleeping and told them again to pray that they would not fall into temptation. Jesus had to let go of his expectations for his followers. But Jesus was also letting go of his dreams for himself. It seems that Jesus anticipated that he was moving toward his death but that he wished it were not so. As he prayed to his father God, he asked for the removal of what was coming but then affirmed that he would submit to God’s will. That was a form of letting go. Jesus was giving up his dreams for himself.

Later on the same evening, a crowd of people bent on harming Jesus found Jesus and his disciples. It seems that Judas led the crowd to the small band and that Judas then identified Jesus specifically by kissing him. Again, Jesus had to let go of his desires for Judas. Then when one of his disciples drew his sword and swung it at one of the members of the crowd, Jesus rebuked the action, likely feeling disappointment with that follower who had not managed to integrate the teaching Jesus had given him into his life. Later that night, the disciple Peter was in the crowd that gathered at the high priest’s house where Jesus had been taken. There, Peter was asked about whether he was one of the disciples of Jesus. Three times Peter denied that he had any knowledge of Jesus. Luke writes that when this happened the third time, the Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. The implication is that Jesus understood very well what Peter had just done. One of the most trusted and committed followers Jesus had known had turned his back on Jesus. Once again, Jesus had to let go of expectations and dreams he had held in regard to his followers.

Then, on the next day, Jesus found himself sentenced to die and being carried inexorably toward crucifixion. His week that began in triumph was to end in humiliation. As I thought about this during the week, I was struck by how Jesus seemed to accept this decline without great protest. He didn’t hold on to what he had so strongly that there were claw marks all over it. In fact, Paul in commenting on this in Philippians 2, wrote that Jesus "did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross." (Phil. 2:6-8)

In contrast, I wonder if the actions of Jesus’ followers that we already noted were inspired by an unwillingness to let go. I wonder if Judas had gotten used to being part of the successful mission of the charismatic leader, Jesus. I wonder if he felt important as the treasurer of the group. I wonder if he felt that all slipping away that last week in Jerusalem when no more miracles occurred and there was rising tension between Jesus and the powerful religious leaders in Jerusalem. I wonder if he thought to himself that he was going to get whatever he could get out of his position before Jesus’ ship went down and then concocted a plan to get money from the religious leaders by betraying Jesus to them.

I wonder about Peter. I wonder what motivated his denial of Jesus. I assume that it was essentially fear. Things were going badly for Jesus. It was entirely likely that Jesus was going to be killed. Peter would have feared that he would meet a similar fate if he identified himself as being a follower of Jesus. He wasn’t ready to die. He wasn’t willing to give up the dream of life. He was holding on to life even if it meant denying his commitment to Jesus.

And then I wonder about ourselves. Are we willing to give up the things that we consider important as we follow Jesus? Or do our actions suggest that we hold on to self so strongly that we betray the commitment we say we have? Are we capable of saying that we love Christ and our fellow Christians but then in an effort to make ourselves look better, gossip about our brothers and sisters in Christ? Do we confess our love for Christ but then act miserly when we are faced with the financial need of another? Do we declare our commitment to Jesus but find the pull of financial security so strong that we fudge our integrity when honesty and integrity would hurt our financial position?

You may remember that I asked you whether you think it’s a true statement that each human story moves from triumph to humiliation. In one sense, that has to be a true statement because all of our lives decline in old age and death will come to each of us. In that sense, the statement is true. It is inevitable that our stories will end in humiliation. But what we’re called to do in this final Sunday of our holding on and letting go series of sermons is to become willing to undergo humiliation as it comes to us because of our commitment to be followers of Jesus Christ. We hold on to our commitment to faith in Jesus so strongly that we are willing to let go of personal gain and triumph when that requires a betrayal of our commitment. We’re called to stop holding on to self so strongly that we leave claw marks all over it as it is being pulled away from us.